Show, Not Tell

EDIT: A/N: Wha? Yeah, now it's probably even more messed up because I forgot the title. -_-"

A/N: The formatting of this might be messed up. Stupid insane computer. -_- Anyway, I kept rewriting most of it because I didn't like it. I still don't like it that much, but I need to get it posted, soooooo… here it is.

When receiving CC or looking for advice, you may have heard of showing instead of telling. Hopefully by the end of this article, you will know what it means, and how to show instead of tell, making your description better.

Instead of just stating the emotions of a character, show it. Two examples, one of telling, and the other of showing:

He jumped up happily and began running forward.

Or:

His eyes shown with emotion. They had changed from their usual dull, lifeless stare, to a gaze full of wonder and amazement, as if seeing the the world for the first time, all evil swept away. Jumping up, he began running with a new vigor, enjoying the feeling of the wind flying past him, laughing with delight.

Now, wasn’t the second paragraph better? Didn’t it depict the character’s emotion better, showing the reader how he feels?

Another example:

He raised his hands above his head, eyeing the guns warily.

Or:

His hands moved up slowly, almost as if they had a will of his own, while he eyed the guns aimed at him warily. Letting his eyes close, his hands rose up above his head.

Not only does showing instead of telling add to your description, helping your readers visualize scenes, it also adds to the length of your story/novel, which will be helpful if you ever participate in NaNoWriMo.

Take the following examples, personalize them, add more description and emotion, and make them show, instead of tell:

Aaron strode over to the table angrily. He picked up the box of cards off of it, then brought it up to his face and examined it.

He walked up to the sword, then quickly pulled it out of the stone it was set in, trying to keep his face emotionless. “This will end the war,” he whispered.

The bullet dug into his arm in slow-motion, but he did not show any pain.

Now, get out there and write some more! Don’t forget to check the other articles on this site! ^- ^